Ah, to remember the days of old. At the turn of the
century (that's the fur-trader-and-beaver-trapper
turn-of-the-century and not Y2K), St. Louis and her
outlying towns were rough-and-tumble. Twisting trails
ran through what would become St. Louis County, and lush
forests blanketed the landscape. Into this untamed
wilderness came some of those crazy foreign cowboys of
old, the French. They settled places like Chesterfield
and Creve Coeur and left their footprints elsewhere.
Frontenac, for example, was named by wannabe-Frenchman
Benjamin Wood after his travels through Quebec. Seems
these early white settlers wanted to make a Versailles
of their very own in the New World.And, as the world
knows, the French like having stuff done for them. After
all, these are the people who still brag about giving us
the Statue of Liberty, who are widely regarded as
unenthusiastic when it comes to personal hygiene and who
even embraced Jerry Lewis as a national hero.
Although there are no big French communities in West
County anymore, old habits die hard. There's money in
these parts, as well as some well-endowed folks who like
taking advantage of the finer things in life while
letting others do their dirty work.
Enter Yucko's, the heavyweight champions of, as the
French say, la merde. Yucko's, the
self-proclaimed No. 1 service in the No. 2 business,
specializes in dog-poop removal. But make no mistake:
This is not just a waste-disposal service. The people of
Yucko's are the laborers who comb the big backyards of
the bourgeoisie, searching for piles of stinky.
"I mean, hey, that's what we do do. It's poop!" says
Debbie Levy, Yucko's founder and chief executive
officer. "No dog, no job too big or small. We're not
afraid of nothin'."
Levy is the head entremanure of her K-9 excrement
business. Since the inception of Yucko's in 1990, the
company has doubled in revenue every two years. Levy,
42, won't disclose the company's sales in 1999 but says
they're in the six figures -- and that's no bull.
But, Levy says, her business has taken a hit because
of her recent clash with the Bi-State Development Agency
and Wall USA Inc., a German company that constructs
those new Euro-looking bus-stop shelters that line major
thoroughfares like Lindbergh Boulevard. Yucko's had a
contract for five shelter signs to be displayed every
month until November 2000. One was to be placed in front
of ritzy Plaza Frontenac. The controversial
advertisement depicted a cartoon dog staring at a pile
of poop about 3 feet taller than he. The dog sports an
overly happy look on his mug -- a shit-eatin' grin, as
it were -- as though the dog knows he's made a
mess but you get to clean it up. Yucko's, the ad
notes, is the place to go for "Professionals in Turd-Herding."
Exactly why anyone would bill himself a "turd-herder"
is a question in and of itself. But the signs wound up
gracing Wall USA bus shelters in Frontenac and Creve
Coeur, putting some local residents' panties in a twist.
Bi-State officials say they received several phone calls
from angry citizens saying they would prefer not to
stare at cartoon crap while driving down Lindbergh.
Seems youngsters riding shotgun in BMWs were asking,
"What is a turd?" Sacré bleu! Sensitive to the
uproar, Bi-State official Thomas Sturgess fired off a
letter to Wall USA, demanding the immediate removal of
these signs.
"I am of the opinion that it is not in good taste and
is inconsistent with the positive public image that we
strive for as part of our corporate values," the letter
states. "Specifically, I refer to the 'Turd Herding'
wording and the large brown pile in the center of the
sign.... Such language may be common in some parts of
society today, but it is vulgar and not acceptable or
what we want the Agency to be associated with."
Because Wall USA essentially must do whatever
Bi-State tells them, the signs came down on March 10.
"We give Bi-State a very small percentage of our
revenues each year as a payment for being the company we
contracted with," says Kippy Burns, Wall USA general
manager. "Part of our agreement with them is, not only
do we have to have a particular performance
specification, but if the advertising is deemed
inappropriate to a particular community standard or to
Bi-State's corporate ethics, they can ask us to remove
the copy, and that's what happened here."
Wall USA has a 15-year contract with Bi-State to
erect and maintain 400 bus shelters. All 400 will carry
advertising, and the company's profit, for the most
part, is generated through these signs.
Levy says her business was "booming" when the signs
were up and complains that business has slowed since
their removal. Before the signs, she says, she was
averaging two or three phone calls a day. But after the
turd-herders went public, she claims, Yucko's was
getting about seven calls a day -- an increase of more
than 100 percent!
